northern monkey living down south

Crying at the Discotheque. Again

2005-12-19T09:34:00.000Z

Well It's almost christmas. I haven't actually done any shopping yet or even thought about it. Oops, (sorry for lack of postings - I have been promoted at work so all my 'surf random sites and blog' time is being used by actual work (I know, how quaint)). Yes me promoted. I'm now senior online marketing guy. Woo-Hoo

Anyway the reason I'm writing is that I just found out that Alcazar have split up :(

Phil, Sue Ellen and I are obviously in mourning and the flags above London, Madrid and Sydney town hall are at half mast (I think to be honest this is all the excuse Sue needs to drag up as one of those Spanish Peasant Grannies with a donkey and lots of Oranges and wail her way round the town square). At least this paves the way for a multitude of Alcazar tribute bands...

How To Get Ahead in Advertising...

2005-11-18T09:07:00.000Z

Advertising/Marketing - it's all the same thing. Could also be filed under 'how to fill your bar up'. I am of course talking about Madonna at G-A-Y this Saturday and the amazing lengths you have to go to to get tickets (before I start sounding like I'm bitter - couldn't be arsed with the crush).

1) Between last Friday and tonight find Jeremy Joseph in the G-A-Y bar/Club, convince him that you are/let him recognise you as a G-A-Y regular and then you get a voucher

2)Go queue tomorrrow from 10am at the G-A-Y bar and join either line 'a' or line 'b' and-

if you are in line a) Queue with your little ticket and you may get a voucher

if you are in line b) For all the people without a little ticket, you will get any wristbands that are left after said queue 'a' have had theirs.

All in all a good idea of making sure that the Madonna night at G-A-Y is populated by g-a-y regulars and not just every rancid Queen and/or Madonna fan muscles in no?...

However several of my friends have been in the G-A-Y bar this week and asked for vouchers, the response they always get from Mr Joseph?

'Ho Ho Ho. I'm not giving vouchers out tonight' - as i said, good way to make your bar full! I'm sure the club has been similarly packed all week. Having said that I know some people that have got wristbands, mainly 18(ish) year old twinks. Maybe there's some correlation. Who knows?

Anyway I hope my mates that want tickets get them, I know they are all going to Camp Attack tonight. I just hope that, being regulars, they are not left in queue b tomorrow...

Mx

Phil

2005-11-07T12:44:00.000Z

He deserves a whole blog to himself really, however for the meantime he'll have to be content with sharing the Silk Flower and Tea light shrine to Diana in my bedroom.

He just sent me the links to his leaving party photographs. And in fact it's worth noting that he's generally a very good photographer!

http://www.phillipj.smugmug.com/

He looks a bit Cell Block H on the main pic though...

Mike x

Scene Out

2005-11-07T12:39:00.000Z

I didn't mention this last week but the lovely man that runs www.scene-out.com has seen my writings on here and various websites and asked me to become a regular reviewer for his site and the weekly 'Mirrorballs' email that they send out. I of course am chuffed and tackled my first assignment on Saturday at Wig-Out. You can look at the results below!

http://scene-out.com/party/showproduct.php?product=74

That is all (though Wig-Out is a f***ing cracking club!)

Mike :)

"He looks A bit like the Dali Lama..."

2005-11-03T15:04:00.000Z

No seriously this was a quote last night. Dale thought that he'd found Nirvana in Barcode, then he realised it was just a twat with a big scarf.

We honestly went out for one drink last night, I was supposed to meet up with the lovely Vicki for a beer and a catch up, then the news came that Leah (who's birthday I think should be a Bank Holiday) was coming, finally Dale announced his attentions to attend. So as you can imagine it was to be a messy night.

We consumed at least a crate full of San Miguel between us, danced around to Sam Fox, Westlife, Spice Girls, Girls Aloud et al. And we severally denounced Kelly Clarkson, Daniel Porkingfield and Jessica Simpson's appalling cover of 'Boots' (Nancy Sinatra must be spinning in her, umm, boots). Vicki of course also befriended the gays she liked and told the ones she didn't to 'move along', dazzling all with her gypsy dancing and bewitching stealing of ciggies "yes it's a pain trying to give up in't it love!".

Suddenly it was ten o'clock, we'd been harassed by just off the boat Aussies (who of course Dale wasn't interested in, well not at ten pm, ask him again about midnight and he changes his tune), Some sort of Rocky Alike had freaked us out, and the girls felt it was time to leave (to my knowledge Vicki left with all her possessions and hasn't got one bruise! Cor blimey that's a rarity!).

Then The boy Sparky and myself trawled off to Barcode, where we saw said Dali Lama, and commented that the world was an ugly place on Wednesday evenings. The world also has strange women 'MCing' in the code on Wednesdays, it was quite good I must admit despite the ugly patrol (having said that they might have thought the same about me).

Anyway to cut a long story short (too late), the night wasn't good for getting men. However we did have a good bop and then I toddled off home. Where Dale went remains a mystery, but he assures me that he has his Mojo back, thanks to our just off the boat friend

Mx

Trade: 15th Birthday Special!!!

2005-11-01T14:43:00.000Z

First of all - WOW!!!

The way I was going on a few of my friends were saying 'ooh you know when you big these things up to yourself they're never as good as you expect', how wrong they were...
Got there fresh from the delights of XXL at around 5:15am Sunday (BST), the queueing system worked fantastically, the doorstaff were their usual friendly but firm selves, the people were of course as friendly as ever...

Then of course there was the music. I didn't leave the lite lounge for about 4 hours I got so carried away before I realised that there was the main room I was missing out on. In between catching up with people I haven't seen for ages (including a hilarious 'big business' moment with Martin's double),and harassing the fruit tray man for one more Banana I sampled the delights of the main room - It was Blinding sets all round and A very happy monkey I am indeed.
I'd like to buy Gonzalo a cup of tea/Pint for giving me the most fun I had with my trousers on all day.
My 15th Birthday CD is proudly stuck to my wall! Muchos Gracias to the trade collective, they're like the Borg collective only with better disco lights and nicer queens. I Can't wait til the next special...

He's leaving on A Jet Plane...

2005-10-21T10:26:00.000+01:00

Actually he's gone. Who would have ever thought that Phil's time here would be at an end, and he'd be flying back home to Tohwoonga or Wahroonga or wherever the hell he's from (that's Sydney to the uneducated poms among us).

After a whirlwind leaving party (leaving week actually - pics included), it was with a heavy heart we trudged to the airport on Wednesday, actually it wasn't that bad. I think we both know that true friendships last. Plus I'm surrounded by all my other wonderful friends here like Rach, sparky and others too numerous to mention. We were both quite tearful when he went but the cute man from Virgin asked me if I was alright (of course I milked this), also my last sight of Phil was him bumbling into a wall which is the epitome of him!

Racheal Voguing to attract men (top) Me and the Pipster (below)

So no more (for a while at least) £1.60 drinks at G-A-Y bar/Chatting up old queens for drinks in Barcode/Girls Aloud (Jump!)/
Belinda Carlisle (almost)/Alcazar/Phixx/Darren Hayes fun with me old mucker Phil. Though he did give me a dowry of all his old shit he didn't want (if anyone wants a bathmat, I have two. I have to ask why Phil bought two bath mats but the answer mystifies me!)

I know everyone else will miss him as much as me, looking forward now to Sydney 2006!

Racheal likes to Vogue, she finds it attracts

strange men. Not all of them Gay!

TRADE

2005-10-20T11:19:00.000+01:00

My god, I don't know why I haven't posted this, TRADE is back on for a 15th birthday special. Do you know what trade is? Possibly the best club i have EVER been to in my life. Down at Turnmills in farringdon. You can look at the website here

Taking young Mr Wileman as he has never been, I'm so excited. Full stop, the end.

Don't want no more...

2005-09-30T12:36:00.000+01:00

Of the crying game. Fab Film, Fab song. Even better when sung by Her Kylieness in the 2002 Fever concert!

LOVE KYLIE

Don't worry I'm on one of my 'watch the concert ten times and annoy your mates' moods

Mike :) x

Up the Mariners!

2005-09-21T10:17:00.000+01:00

Now normally I'm not want to take an interest in football (more of a Rugby or Cricket boy). However if it involves my home team then I always perk up. Especially as we knocked Spurs out of the cup last night.

If you read any of the reports, Martin Jol is sounding very pissed off and bitter about the whole thing (well you would). But just to say well done lads!!!

Staight Rant over. Bring on the next round!

On a sporting note, did any of my Aussie readers see the ashes result?

POP

2005-09-06T11:11:00.000+01:00

I have become addicted to the popjustice forums, (Sparky if you read this SIGN UP) which is in turn a spin off from popjustice (their last ten days of pop news is highly hilarious).

From spending my days and evenings chatting about pop past and present I found this hilarious link, which anyone that's ever been to a) essential in manchester, b) Ku Bar/Heaven in london or c) any provincial gay bar will find very amusing.

On a more serious note, Aaron got robbed at gunpoint last week. Reminding me how scary parts of London can be, luckily the poor lamb is over it (I think) and not too worried. It's a bugger that you can't walk the streets safely in your own neighbourhood isn't it? Such are the realities of life I suppose.

Had a fab weekend, went to G-A-Y Saturday night for a bouncy dance, lots of lager and Jeremy Joseph trying to convince us the the Pussycat Dolls are going to be as big as the Spice Girls - whatever Jezza, you said the same thing about Vanilla (probably). I'll also never doubt Dales drop kick ability ever again. (Incidentally we did a very good dance routine to 'Time of my life' from dirty dancing. What should have been a recipe for a trip to A&E wowed the crowds with our flair and panache!).

I also just bought a washing machine. (well Aaron did under instruction). How mundane and Zzzz hey?...

Mx

It's a monkey...

2005-08-31T10:45:00.000+01:00

The latest craze at work is for everyone to do their own South Park character (see attached link and you can do one too!)

This is me. Apparently...

Big Gay Out

2005-08-24T15:13:00.000+01:00

Ok Ok, I did it again. Over a month since an update. Ouch. I was reminded the other day by Dale that I hadn't updated for ages. So now again I have a months worth of gossip. Where do I start?

Maybe at Big Gay Out? Fantastic day out, and surrounded by a lot of lovely people like Phil (who proved to be the shiftiest person at passing pills around ever) and Aaron (Inceidentally him and Hone had a mini fling in the interim of my blog postings). We were also surrounded by loads of lovely Aussies and Canadians. While I kept the British end up. Most notable thing of the day was the toilets that played the Going for Gold, Count Duckula and Trapdoor theme tunes. Well maybe most notable after Girls Aloud, or Goldfrapp, or The way the Dance tent stunk of BO, or maybe the mad woman who got hoisted off the stage by her various skin piercings while singing classical songs. Ouch.

Anyway we got generally drunk, mashed up/down and then went to the 12 pins pub next door. Where we promptly decided to go back to Phils to carry on drinking, The Boy Dale showed up and we were pretty pissed til about 5am when we turned in.

Of course never ones to waste an ounce of a weekend, Pip and Me went straight to g-a-y bar on Sunday to top up. Aussie Mike joined us as well (he's a very committed individual, ask anyone!). As usual on Sunday in there the dynamic changed from 1pm when we were sat talking and laughing at the post clubbing queens dancing like freaks. To 10pm BEING the people dancing like freaks. Oh dear, but what can you do? Especially when they play so much cheese!!!

I'll have to post other events over the last month on a seperate post, just so it looks like my blog is keeping up to date.

Mx

"My Boy is Dead..."

2005-07-18T12:17:00.000+01:00

I'm reminded that I have yet to reccomend the fabulous www.angryalien.com to you all to go look at. The 30 second bunny theatre is guaranteed to have you in stitches (unless you're not impressed by stupid things, like Mr Edwards isn't!)

The title is a line from Jaws, which is one of the films on there!!!

Who's Who at 56 Lambert Road? (plus randoms)

2005-07-14T16:21:00.000+01:00

Here is a picture of my lovely flatmate Karen (in the yellow). Pictured here with a friend of hers, Andrea. This was taken at about 8am one Saturday a while back when we had been drinking since about midday the day before. She doesn't scrub up too bad, though they were both taking the piss out of my admittedly bad tie collection. Oops.
Here's the picture of Steve and I from Brighton as promised yesterday . (Sorry this was supposed to be at the top but it all seems to be working backwards - It's not my fault the blog uploads everything in a strange way! (bad workman blaming his tools anyone?)).

This is the deliciously cute Aaron who we also live with (in the strange red hat). Aaron is 24, single and a general all round good time gal. Pictured with him is his good friend Colin. Who is a very sweet guy. He also likes Star Trek, which guarantees people a place in my good books.

Here is the apple of our household's eye. The ever lovely/hungry/not yet pregnant precious. She is very precious as well, and likes nothing more than to pretend to be hard done to while mewling for food (despite the fact that the last person to leave the house has probably fed her as well). I will add more friends when I have time to resize the photos. Just thought A snapshot of our house (and Steve) might be nice. Again apologies it's not in very good order.

And I love A Cabaret...

2005-07-13T17:17:00.000+01:00

Well obviously but I was referring to Berlin in the title. Where I was at the weekend. It's such a beautiful city - there are palaces and buildings from the various countries that Berlin has been at the center of (Holy Roman Empire, Prussia, Wiemar and Germany) and I'll upload pics as soon as I can. However in the meantime let me just say that if you are planning a city break go there as it's so gorgeous. As Steve just said to me, you could spend weeks there and not get bored.

Speaking of Steve...

Y'all remember the Canadian I met in Brighton? Well that's him, I just spoke to him on the phone and it turned my Stomach into a mass of butterflies. All good though and he is GORGEOUS. We're mailing and chatting and hoping we can meet up very soon. Yet another picture I need to post when I have time to resize it is a lovely one of me and him from Brighton.

Went to see Jenny and Sapna in hospital today, (the girls from work that were on the bombed bus). Thank god they are on the mend and quite Lucid. Jenny in particular is a legend. She is her usual chirpy self and not letting anything like terrorists get to her. As I told her "you go girl"

Kisses

Mike :)

Stronger

2005-07-08T17:05:00.000+01:00

That's all I can say about the people of London today, stronger than anyone (especially the terrorists) suspected. I can't get my head round yesterday, especially as two girls from work were on the bus when it blew. Luckily they are alive, and their injuries aren't too bad (comparably).

I won't go on about yesterday as I'm sure you have read it to death by now, but the city was all open this mroning, people were on the (emptier than usual) tubes and everyone came to work. Well most people, but the point is that everyone has stuck two fingers up to the terrorists and will carry on as normal.

I hope no one that reads this has lost a loved one.

It was so nice to get home last night, there were hugs all round and much drinking. We were all glad just to see the ones we love.

Anyway I'm off to Berlin for the weekend

TTFN

Love Mike

xxx

The London Bombings

2005-07-07T14:56:00.000+01:00

I'm just about to leave work and ok thankfully, but today has shaken me up so much. Luckily all my mates are ok, but a couple of people from work are in hospital

Will Post more when I'm not so shocked

Mike

xxx

"I have oral sex with complete strangers. You can't get much shallower than that..."

2005-07-05T14:36:00.000+01:00

I hope my mother doesn't read this, and no it's not the title of my autobiography. However it is one of my favourite quotes from one of my favourite characters on one of the best TV shows ever! This Life. And according to the BBC cult website they're making a one off reunion episode. (Think Dynasty the reunion, only in Southwark). Ruth I know you read this so you'll be as excited as me.

Foe the unititiated, this life followed the lives and loves (mainly involving sex, drink and drugs) of some 20 something law graduates who shared a house in London. All very normal you say? Except it was the most fab hour on the box for ages, it basically made light of all those things that actually do happen to you when you leave uni and start living uin the real world (sex, drink, no cash etc etc). I don't really make it sound very good, but anyone that's ever been in their twenties and housesharing will love it instantly. Watch as Ferdy shags the plumber in the bogs (sending daily mail readers across the land reaching for their lavender hankies in disgust), gasp in awe as Milly's sulky bath count rises, wonder whether Miles and Anna will stop sniping and ever get it together, wonder whether Egg will ever get a job. And so on and so forth...

As Warren would have said - Fantastic!

Gay Pride 2005

2005-07-04T12:20:00.000+01:00

Well the London one anyway, it was on Saturday. No you would be forgiven for thinking you had not heard anything about it as that's probably true. But it was there, overshadowed by Live8 (which was fab and I watched from the comfort of G-A-Y bar from behind a jug of pimms). The parade was good fun as usual, but the streets weren't as packed as normal. Maybe everyone was at Live8, maybe there's quite an apathetic feeling at the mo towards pride, maybe it's a bit of both. But it does sadden me if it's an apathy issue.

I for one am, well, proud of pride and what it represents. A lot of people have struggled hard to get us the rights we have as Gay men and Women. But also there is still a long way to go here and all over the world before Homophobic attitudes and discrimination are gone from society. People need to remember this and support it.

Political rant over, but I applaud the people that organise pride and take the time to march for something they believe in.

Gosh It's all very Waltons today :) Mx

Mountie Magic

2005-07-04T12:06:00.000+01:00

Well actually I didn't even see one, but Friday was Canada day (not Canadia day as some call it). I promised Aaron (incidentally who is our new housemate and the nicest guy on the planet - single fit guys can apply here if they want a date with him and I'll pass on messages :P ) that I'd go with him and expand my experience of all things Canadian - and how fab was it? Read on...

So we trotted along to Canada House and were greeted by a fudge brownie and a free pin badge (Aaron was hoping they were special brownies, alas no). There was more free lager (Moosehead) and Wine as you could shake a stick at. The reduced Shakespeare company were puting a show on, there was some random comedian who wasn't that funny, and lots of singing the national anthem (which moved me actually as they were all so into it, we need to do more for St Georges day!)

The Canadians are the nicest people you could ever hope to meet, I had never met any til recently and they all are so nice and friendly I'm a big fan of them.

There was a street party in covent garden afterwards, which mainly meant getting wet and Aaron asking policemen about their helmets. Oh and I got punched by the mysterious purple girl (we think she was a ghost).

Anyway I'll be Canada daying it next year as well. (It has less ulterior motive than my Australia day celebration)

:) Mike x

Brighton Rock(s)

2005-07-04T09:34:00.000+01:00

No really it does!!!

Well back from my week off and one of the highlights of the week was going to Brighton on wednesday for young Phils 29th birthday. You can see what a nice day we had in our wonderful self portrait here displayed.

Fab day, started off lazy in the cafe near Phils house, then got on the choo choo train to Brighton. Much meandering round shops then followed, with me explaining to Phil exactly why the marine pavilion was such a monstrosity (we used to have mad kings). After a mince round town we headed to the pier and laughed at the old grannies on deckchairs (well Phil laughed, I was just chortling).

On Brighton pier they have a Dr Who exhibition, being the big Sci-fi geek that I am, I wet my pants with fun as we went round. See a picture of me with the TARDIS here

Then we went for a fabulous Italian, and hit the bars (obviously taking time to not be outdone by the other queen whos birthday it was and ordering champagne!). Met a group of very nice guys (one of whom was the absolute man of my dreams but of course lives in Vancouver) and got generally drunk.

So as the sun set over Brighton and we got the last train home (with said man of my dreams in tow - you have to take happiness for as long as you can), We agreed how much we loved Brighton and will be going for pride again this year!!! That last line sounded like some cheesy line from a yank film, then again it's 4th of July so I guess I'm allowed a bit of cheese :)

Love will tear us apart...

2005-06-23T15:48:00.000+01:00

Well maybe not but I thought I'd better update before my week off next week. So what to report? Well single again (and happy for it to be honest), The hair has been shaved again (I got so mad with it) and London is currently 30c. PHEW. Luckily I'm spending the whole week sunbathing

Weekend before last was the lovely Glindas 30th, so several drinks were dunk along with a bbq, trips to XXL and the Tavern (that was fab beyond belief) and also wine in Soho Square. I think the poor lamb had a good time? We were quite messy but all good fun!!!

Tomorrow I'm off to the O2 Wireless festival in Hyde Park, mainly to see New Order who I've wanted to see since I was about ten years old. So I'm so chuffed, especially as every other bugger has gone to Glastonbury and left Karen and Me home alone (hats off to her for the state she was in last night - it involved blacking out in Leicester Square and taking several hours to get up Brixton Hill). Anyway we're having a day out tomorrow (as we've both been paid). Nice Brunch somewhere posh then on to Hyde Park. Better have the coke and champagne lifestyle while we can as it'll be back to wine and glue sniffing on Monday...

Having a week off next week means I'll be able to hopefully update this more regularly. Oh yeah I'm off to the Lincolnshire Fair on Sunday for a family do. Which I'm really looking forward to (though no doubt Grimsby itself will bore me to tears within ten minutes of arrival).

TTFN

Mike :) x

"You wanna buy any pegs Dave?"

2005-05-27T09:54:00.000+01:00

http://www.rulocal.co.uk/

Possibly the most exciting link of the year (apart from the Freddie Lindjeberg CK pics) - trailer and first five minutes of the League Of Gentlemen film. Rach and Myself just watched it and ended up nearly wetting ourselves with excitement. ARGH

Red Blooded Woman?

2005-05-05T15:17:00.000+01:00

Like you need to ask. She was bloody fantastic! Had a few beers in Muppet Street (chosen by Phil and not me or Sue Ellen), with those two and also the lovely Mark (Apparently I wasn't gushing enough about him yesterday. Well I can say that I think he's a very special guy and we have a very good time together, am looking forward to seeing him at the weekened even though the git is off to see Girls aloud tonight without me and Kylie (again) tomorrow. I was thinking of posting a picture but I only have one that looks like a Most Haunted deleted scene - seriously he is very tasty to look at though :) ). Then it was onwards and upwards for me and Sue Ellen to the Earls Court arena to gasp at the bar prices £9 for a large wine (which wasn't very large) and then to see Ms Minogue. I have attached the set list below.

Kylie was of course Fabulous - sang magnificently and had me in gasps/tears/leaps and bounds for the full two hours she was on stage. We had pretty decent seats (Earls Court is much smaller than the MEN, which surprised me). The highlight was either 'Red Blooded Woman' which was worth the ticket price for the male dancers in wet shorts, or the 'Je ne se pas pourquoi/confide in me' bit.

Here's the setlist -

SHOWGIRL
Better The Devil You Know
In Your Eyes
Giving You Up
On A Night Like This

SMILEY-KYLIE
Intro: Do You Dare
Shocked
What Do I Have to Do
Spinning Around

DENIAL
In Denial
Je Ne Sais Pas Pourquoi
Confide In Me

WHAT KYLIE WANTS, KYLIE GETS
Red Blooded Woman / Where The Wild Roses Grow
Slow
Please Stay

DREAMS
Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Come Into My World
Chocolate
I Believe In You
Dreams

KYLESQUE
Hand On Your Heart
The-Locomotion
I Should Be So Lucky
Your Disco Needs You

MINX IN SPACE
Put Yourself In My Place
Can't Get You Out Of My Head

Especially For You
Love At First Sight

So if you haven't been/bought tickets yet get yerself on Ebay! I did overall prefer the fever tour actually, but it's Kylie here so we're talking degrees of magnificance...

Got home after (cos I was knackered after fighting all the gays on the District line for a seat) and had a KFC and a glass of wine with Karen. Phil is back in London (and was snoring in my bed when I got in!) so I expect him and me will resume mischief as usual ASAP!!!

Mike :) xxx

On A Night Like This...

2005-05-04T14:47:00.000+01:00

Well actually SHOWGIRL - Manchester weekend shenanigans in a moment. But tonight is the night I've been waiting for for about a year. I'm off to see KYLIE play live tonight at Earls Court on the fab Showgirl tour. I'm so excited (in a very pointer sisters kind of a way) - ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

Calm down dear...

AHEM - back to the weekend and a lovely drunken, mashed up, dancing, eating debauched time was had by all! I had my usual tinted glasses moment, Bridget and Myself invaded the Showbar Piano lounge as usual, and Myself Phil and Stevey had a most drunken Italian meal. Orange was great (what I remember of it) and all my old haunts were their damn good self.

Then home on the Monday with Glinda and her bear brethren on the train to see the lovely Mark (who I hear you ask???) for perfect comedown food and cuddles. :) Lovely, I'll tell you who Mister Mark is later, let's just say I've surprised my friends by being gushy about a boy (I know, me!)

Mxxx

If you go down to the woods today...

2005-04-29T10:59:00.000+01:00

...or more importantly up to Manchester, you're assured a big surprise. Well actually big and Hairy. Yes it's the great northern bear bash this weekend up in Manchester. Glinda is of course going to pedal her wares on the streets and I also thought this'd be a great excuse to toddle up and visit my Manchester lot, visit my ancestral seat, and generally have a damned good time away!

I'm not heading to the bear baiting pits though, Moi, Pip, Bridget and Chris's weekend will be limited to the nice Gay venues (most notably Orange V Essential on the Sunday night) - though i can imagine Bridget giggling with glee at the thought of a Bear Foam party on the Sunday so she'll probably want to go and point.

Speaking of the bear bash, I think London will be most dead this weekend. As I traveresed the walk from home to Brixton station, i noticed lots of bears with camp travel luggage heading down the hill, so it looks like there's a mass exodus to Manchester for the weekend. Good (or not), you decide!

In Non related news, I cooked the lushest tea in the world last night for Karen and Myself! And had a go at my other flatmate who keeps stealing my food (our lawyers are watching). No Sue Ellen this weekend :( as she is entertaining the Countess of Madrid, Johanna...

Expect a rather hungover/coming down entry early next week...

Mike :) x

Brixton Monkey

2005-04-13T14:05:00.000+01:00

Ok Ok, even though Is said that I would update regularly I haven't been. Mainly due to work being super duper busy, and the very coniderable stresses of moving house. Well actually moving was the easy part, living in my old house with an inconsiderate loon and also finding somewhere was the hard bit.

Anyhoo all sorted now and my new manor is... Brixton. Acre lane to be precise, which is quite near both Clapham and Brixton so I get two cool places within ten minutes walking distance! Anyway the stress of moving is all over now and I am living with two cool people, Karen and Renaud, and a moggy named precious. Yay!

Nothing to report lately, been drinking, eating, clubbing. All of the above. Had a bad tummy (eugh), helped Rach through the break up and unbreak up of her relationship. will post more when I get chance as am at work.

Mxx

I'm gonna whoop your ass!

2005-02-24T09:56:00.000Z

Following on from my previous posting, today's title is a line from one of my fave films, best said while wearing a Pink Check dress and holding a sink plunger. The film is big business and stars the divine miss M(iddler), and the wonderful Lily Tomlin whom I have mentioned previously. Now imagine my delight and queeny flapping when I opened my inbox this morning, to have an actual EMAIL from the said lady. NO kidding. I posted a message on her website just generally saying how much I loved her work. And she sent me a reply. Of course the details are a personal note so won't be revealed. But I'm so happy I've had to have cup of tea to calm me down!

In related, non flappy news. Tomorrow is payday (yay) so I can afford to quaff ale and dance merrily again, yea marry (or something). Although I think I'm still recovering from last weekend. Me Stu and Pip (who flew home from Slovakia via London to see me) got hammered in G-A-Y bar, then more hammered at Horsemeat, then more hammered. Anyway it was very messy, no doubt there'll be room for one or two beverages this weekend!

In related Phil news, we're off on a 'lads' holiday ( I use the term very loosely). To Gran Canaria or somewhere of that ilk at the end of April, so that's currently the 2nd most exciting thing in my life. The 3rd is that I'm moving house at the end of March, so anyone with a spare room let me know...

Mx

I heart Huckabees!

2005-02-10T16:24:00.000Z

No I'm not about to start using words like 'lol', that actually is the itle of the film I went to see last night with the ever charming Hone (You say it like Horny without the r) - and what a funny charming comedy it is. Billed as an 'Extistential Comedy', it's not anywhere as pretentious as this suggests and doesn't take itself seriously. Plus it has the always fabulous Lily Tomlin in, who I've loved since I was about five and first saw 9-5.

Had a fabby weekend, stayed in Friday with Rach and we consumed three botttles of wine, ate a lovely meal of sausage, (cheddar) mash, (onion) gravy and Yorkshire Puds. Then we Watched 'Beautiful Thing' (which means I've been singing Mamas and the Papas all week!) and 'Muriels Wedding ('It's Marial!'). Both of which are fabby if you didn't know!

Saturday we had a lazy day (still me and Rach) in Greenwich, she'd never been before so we went along, shopped and found a lovely noodle place where all dishes were £3.50! Bargain! Then we went home, goty changed and met up with Karen and Sue Ellen in town, the latter was between several birthdays and a stag do (can you imagine his nose turned up?!) and what not, but we managed to pursuade that we were the best option. ended up really drunk in Wig Out drunk as skunks and dancing like loons! (yay).

On Sunday more drink ensued, it was 'back to Plaistow' day as we went and got hammered in the SpreadEagle pub there! Then I departed as I had a meeting arranged with a friend of mine Howard, who I only get to see a few times a year as he lives in Jo'burg, but hey ho we always manage to have a good time. And we went clubbing as well (that's not cubbing, as Glinda does on a Saturday!).

Was off work Monday as a precaution to the excesses of Sunday night, and have had a pretty quiet week apart from the Cinema as mentioned and Supper with Howie on Tuesday (who was ill bless his cotton socks so I made him a hot water bottle and various hot northern remedies!).

Ooh almost the weekend!

Wake me Up...

2005-01-31T15:44:00.000Z

This is the title of the fabulous new Girls Aloud song. You must rush out and buy it when it come out. Mainly because this page is subliminally flashing 'Buy Girls Aloud' at you. Ha not really. Their Album 'What will the neighbours say' is fantastic as well. Perfect Pop I'd say.

Had a bit of a crazy fortnight (when i say crazy I mean drunk). Managed to go to Club Lovelife, XXL, Popstarz and KaraokeBox (It's an authentic Japanese karaoke place, A few of us from work hired one of the rooms out. Well fab!). Yesterday I was so drunk they barred me from McDonalds, This was cos i was already drunk and then saw Bretton on the way home. He's back from NYC for a wee while, so then we sat in Muppet Street and got even more hammered. (we saw the man from the 'BACTERIA' adverts and thought it masively amusing to keep shouting it at him. He wasn't very impressed to say the least. Oops. I'm not going to relate teh McDonalds story. I have SOME dignty.

Trying to stay off the drink in the week, even though I'm going into town tonight for one...

Saturday at XXL I saw the ever lovely Ginda, whom I haven't seen for some time - YAY we love Glinda. Also went out with Lynette for Australia day last week, YAY we love Australia day, and Lynette. Ended up drunk with her and my mate Stuart in the Box Bar chatting to the very cute and very lovely Tom McMillan. Mmmm cute men.

Mx

Boyz Boyz Boyz...

2005-01-21T16:26:00.000Z

...Looking for a good time? Well I certainly had one this week.

My birthday was FAB. The boy had most of his best friends in the same room, plus got cards and presents and beer (gallons of). What more could I have asked for? Well the cute but shy South African could have made himself known to me. But that's about it :)

We Started in G-A-Y bar about 2pm, then carried on til the wee small hours. Sue Ellen was Duchess of Ceremonies. And Gary provided defence against the dark arts (of hat wearing and pouting). Not quite sure that getting the wrong bus home was such a good idea though.

The Boyz Christmas party was on Wednesday (yes in January, how post modern!). And was a very good time, I met loads of cool people, drank a free bar, argued (kinda) with some cokehead twinks in French(ish), and ate Chicken McNuggets on a cocktail stick (I kid ye not).

Then last night is was Louise from works leaving drinks. *sniff*. Needless to say in true
Electric Word style we got HAMMERED. And ended up in Soho falling around a very unusually packed G-A-Y bar.

I think I'm using too many hyperlinks, but just one more to show the club I'm off to on Sunday (VIP List dont'cha know!). Club LoveLife. And It looks pretty funky!

Will Report back on monday

Mike :) xxx

Birthday Monkey (almost)

2005-01-14T11:51:00.000Z

Well here I am on the cusp of being 25 (Sunday 16th If you must know). And It's another year in my life gone. So what have I accomplished?

Hmm, well I managed to keep alcohol and caffeine free for a while. I said I'd start a diary online (ok so I've been slack at updating it lately. But I am trying). And I got promoted at work. now 25 is going to be my year for doing things for me, looking after myself properly and fitting a bit if travel in!

But wait, there's a whole month of updates to go:

XMAS 2004 - The works Xmas party for a start, Much drunkeness and fun. Plus Racheal losing her voice, Mark (Boss) Hound Dogging it on the Karaoke, random possibly Gay jugglers with their trouserlegs rolled up (please don't ask) and generally being drunk and having a good time (see below)

Then it was back to Grimsby for a week of fun and err Grimsbyness. Though it was good to see my family and have a nice week relaxing, watching the Tsunami events unfold has been a horrible thing. I hope the region gets the aid it needs, but also I hope it highlights just how many other areas of the world need humanitarian aid on a larger scale all the time that no one seems to bother about.

I was back at work on New Years eve, but first it was to leafy Cheshunt for two days for a state visit to Sue Ellens palace. Basically we sat and drank two boxes of wine and watched the USA version of Queer as Folk, which is surprisingly good.

New Years Eve - Was spent at work (well in the morning, my body at least). Then off to Paddington to meet lovely Andrew who was over from Cardiff (well actually he was over from Alice Springs but it's a long story) for the festivities. Nice meal, nice drinks and a quiet one. I always find NYE overrated if i plan a mad one.

Then just getting on with January, no wonder it's called the bleak midwinter. What a dull month. Luckily my birthday is in the middle of it so it should be fun on sunday. From 2pn in G-A-Y bar there'll be streamers, ballons (well maybe not), £1.60 drinks and free tube travel until 8am Monday Morning (kind of). merriment and dancing.

Pity this blog doesn't have a live videofeed, we could have installed a guttercam on Sue Ellen.

Hugs

Mike x

Spanked Monkey!

2004-12-09T15:25:00.000Z

Ok Ok, A whole month and a half not updating my blog is unexcusable, especially to me as I wanted the damn think in the first place. And I'm not prone to being fickle (ahem).

So what to report in the last month?

Mum - Mum and Rachael (My little sis) came to visit me for the weekend after Dublin. She loved my little house, and was sad as well that I had to Move, we also went to see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang at the Palladium and we all loved it. Mum was also taken to see Canary Wharf and Greenwich. All good fun!

Milan- Ciao Bello, I got an Italian Phrasebook on the monday, had learnt the whole language by the time we flew on Sunday (Ok honestly? 'How much for a beer?' and 'I don't understand' were my main phrases. I couldn't work out 'Is there a darkroom').

Honestly the place is lovely, and such beautiful architecture including The Duomo and La Scala (not the KIngs X one either). The Central Train Station is breathtaking as well, designed by Mussolini Apparentley - if only he'd gone down that career route! Lots of fit (friendly drop their pants) guys as well!

So now Ive moved house - back down The Old Kent Road. As My sister pointed out, the cheapest on the monopoly board. So me!

What else? There's been no scandal really - well the office night out for Karens leaving do was a bit of a sexual tension athon. But I really can't go into that in Public!

Only 16 Days Til Xmas! Have I done any shopping? Have I hell! Oops

Company Awayday tomorrow, which is bound to be dull but I remain open to being surprised!

Laters, Mike xxx

Out on the Liffey...

2004-10-20T11:14:00.000+01:00

What a weekend. Mark (Glinda) and my good self had a lovely weekend in Dublin at the expense of Air France! Business class flight - 5* Hotel, 3 Course meals, Enough free drink to even fill me up, Riverdancing, Irish Coffees, cakes, Fit Aussie Sales Managers (straight mores the pity), Glinda getting drunk, nasty, and staring at mens nether regions! etc etc etc

We had a FABBY weekend, Irish people are so so friendly and Dublin is a lovely city - Like England but a bit different! And the best thing is that it's only a 40 odd minute flight from London city (Which is about ten mins from us on the bus), so we were home by 5:30 - I ironed a Tee Shirt and jumped straight on the bus for the Tavern, which was good fun for the few hours I was there, I then went to bar code and G-A-Y and caught up with some old acquantances (Hey to Dave and Mario!)

Starting to househunt in earnest this week - eek no fun! But it needs to be done :(

Looking forward to the weekend. Well Monday actually as it's Payday!

Mike x

She's leaving home Bye Bye...

2004-10-13T13:10:00.000+01:00

Figured I could do with a Beatles reference somewhere. God I need to try and find time to update this more often.

Anyhooo unfortunate news this week. Ian (the guy that is my landlord and who's room I rented when he went on his world trip) is coming home early - due to circumstances beyond control. So Lil ole me is gonna have to find somewhere else to move to - eek!

I found out on Saturday and promptly burst into tears on the Central line, Very high drama! I mean I have until after Christmas, but I want to get it sorted as soon as possible. So this week it was with much wearyness that I started flat hunting. (if you know what I went through in the place I lived before I moved in with Mark you'll know why I'm dreading the task!) So no more living with Glinda, which is poo. :(

However you can't keep a good dog down! So I'm hard at it, other possibilities are moving into a house with Sue Ellen (however having looked at the price of 2 bed houses/flats I'm not entirely optimistic, unless we rent a cardboard box at Charing Cross). Also the lovely Bretton has his house to rent when he finally buggers off to NYC, so an Upton Park Des Res is a possibility! Otherwise I'll be in Charing cross with a bottle of cheap cider and a dog in my coat - oh hang on thats my usual saturday night anyway :)

Anyone stumbling across this that has a room to rent please let me know, preferably within the M25 mind, I want to be able to get a Nightbus home from G-A-Y! (I've out an ad on loads of sites stating zones 1-3, preferably East or South London and you get loads of emails saying "Hi, I have a room to rent in Zone 6 North West London". I had one that lived in Brum - Bit of a commute!)

In Other matters...

Am off to Dublin this weekend. Glinda is taking me as a +1 on her 'educational' there for work. (Read:5* Hotel, Business class flights, free food and drink all weekend! It's a bad life) :)
Am really looking forward as I do like Dublin very much since I went for my brothers 21st this year.

Not a lot else going on really...

Mx

Bonne Anniversaire Numero Deux

2004-10-06T11:04:00.000+01:00

Following hot on the heels of my being in London for a year - I've been in my job for exactly 1 year today - My doesn't time fly when you're working for an honest living, while eating Pret out of their stash of Brie, Basil and Tomato baguettes? A full year working in the City, althouugh we're at the hip trendy Clerkenwell end rather than part of the Red Brace brigade...

Other hot news this week includes the unexpected trip to DUBLIN next Saturday - some business excursion of Glinda (all free!). With a 5* hotel and business class flights and everything. Apparently I've got to be on my best behaviour - It's not my fault the Guinness and Smithwicks drinkies over there are so tasty is it. Plus there's a whisky distillery on the itinery...

Sunday went for a few quiet (!) drinkies with Ms Holding. Cue our re-enactment of the video for 'I Know Him So Well' on the travelators at london bridge station - we left our fur stoals and shoulderpads in mothballs alas!

Trying to stave off this damn cold that's attempting to get a grip on me as well - Lemon and Ginger tea with (proper manuka) Honey seems to be helping! My mother would reccommend a hot toddie - although it'd probably turn into whisky glaore knowing me!

Mx

Blue Tuesday...

2004-09-28T11:23:00.000+01:00

How does it feel indeed?

Maybe it's just the fact that winter has finally set in. Or maybe it's just my time of the month. But I'm a tad depressed today for some reason, been sat at work thinking how my life seems to be in a rut cash wise. I have no idea whether the job that I'm doing is what i want to do for the rest of my life - etc etc etc

I guess everyone gets a bit like this every now and again, luckily I know I have good friends to stand by me!

Had a good weekend (as per) - went out for a few after work on Friday. Finally rolled in at Midday Sunday (Via The City, Soho, G-A-Y, AM, Some dodgy bar in Vauxhall and some boys house). Then back into G-A-Y bar for cheap drinks with Sue, Glinda, Mags, Matt, Derv until midnight sunday - Whew time for a drink/drugs/caffeine detox the next week or two I think. while sprawled in front of the Sky+ box!

Mx

Crying at the Discotec...

2004-09-22T10:26:00.002+01:00

Well I wasn't crying at all. But i did see the fabulous Alcazar on Saturday at G-A-Y. They were on for about 45 Minutes and were fab (some people mime two songs when they play the club - they SANG live and DANCED to them all!). Run and buy their new song quick!

Got home at 4am suitably sated (and I wasn;t even drunk in the club!)

Sunday I was supposed to go to a housewarming. However fate had other ideas...

Ok not fate, but meeting Sue Ellen for one drink beforehand is never going to get you to your flight on time really is it? So we ended up hammered on Kronenberg in G-A-Y bar with a couple of people, then hammered in Comptons, then Hammered in Bar-Code (the best bar in Soho on Sunday, My mate Mario Dj's and his sets rock! - he could easily play there on a Friday or Saturday). Various shenanigans ensued (involving offers of porn stardom and an idea for a murder mystery party amongst other things!) and I rolled home at 3am - oops.

Weeks been fairly quiet, Glinda-E had a date last night. (incidentally she is a love and we had a great day pretending to be arguing boyfriends in ASDA on saturday!)

So what does the weekend hold? Well on Friday am off out with Racheal and the girls from work for Nats Birthday. Then Saturday I'm probably having an east end night out!

Oh and my Mum and Sis are coming to visit me soon - Huzzah!

Mike x

My Camera Never Lies...

2004-09-17T13:28:00.000+01:00

Neither does anyone elses.

Ok Ok apart from the blatant Bucks Fizz title, pictures (well some of them) from Manchester Mardi gras are here - the ones that are postable (and where I look vaguely not off my face) are highlighted below, as well as one of me and Phil at his london leaving do!

This pic is Me and Phil - *Sniff* one day I'll marry him (only for Australian Citizenship!)

Bridget and Me, she's been my surrogate mother throughout uni, and she's one of my best friends (long suffering of course)

Mark (Phils Aussie ex - we're the same person split in two apparently. But then he is damn sexy so I guess that parts right), Me, Phil and Natalie (I work with the poor dear)

More notable people here include Nik (2nd from left - who for some reason lives in Gibralter!) and Stevey Swinburn (Next to Natalie - he's one of my fave guys on the planet.)

From Vaguely Butch/Scary - Ok just looking pissed...

To camp in one fell swoop!

Not a lot else to report this week. The tales of me snogging fierce girl have travelled far and wide. Went to BarCode last night and the were playing excellent 80s electro and 12" Mixes of
A-HA the Euruthmics and stuff.

The weekend beckons with all the mystery of the gutter (as in which one will i end up in)

Poor Mark (my boss) has broken his kneecap in two - ouch. So the poor dear is isolated in Tunbridge Wells for a while. You can access his blog from my links and leave him a sympathy message - He'll appreciate it!

Mxxxx

Highlights and a Pit Bull?

2004-09-13T11:12:00.000+01:00

You're looking fierce girl!

Well the song didn't chart bless 'em. But Me and Vicki managed to harass fierce girl last thursday in G-A-Y bar! Oh and how. Details have already been distributed to those in the know...

So how was your weekend? Friday night saw a free bar after work for some birthdays we were having. Cue much white wine and Sue Ellen sweeping through on a state visit to the delight of my Female colleagues ("Ooh isn't he friendly! Some people come to a party where they don't know anyone and stand in a corner quietly" It was commented - Not our Marky, rolled in, claimed the Nachos as his own, gossiped and swept out again like the royalty that he is!)

Saturday was spent (once I got my lazy arse out of bed) going round Stratford with Racheal helping her find paint and things for her room. We then had a lovely afternoon meal in the Edward VII. Then I wizzed off into town and ended up DRUNK AS A SKUNK in G-A-Y. Managed to have one of those amazing nights where I didn't spend a penny.

Met the delightful Lynette yesterday for a cheap day together. We went to the Brick Lane Festival, which to be honest was a better idea than practicality. So we abandoned it as a bad job and went wandering round Soho whilst trying to think of money raising schemes. I even put my collar up to look more like a rent boy - alas no offers. and on my 1 Year London anniversary as well!

Most Haunted live was on when I got in, and there were certainly evil spirits about (well it woke the witch sleeping upstairs at home and she came down and cast a wicked spell on me for playing my music too loud. Not my fault she was in bed at 8 (yes 8) cos she was too drunk is it?

Am knackered today, although looking at flights to Oz is keeping my spirits up...

Mx

Bonne Anniversaire

2004-09-07T13:13:00.000+01:00

Just thought I had to post one of my fave webpages,

http://www.socialscrutiny.org/ - It's a highly hilarious piss take of the workings of UK government.

Yay had a nice relaxing night last night - It was mainly Donuts and sex (not at the same time), with a smattering of MTV thrown in for good measure. Oh and Glinda nosing up and down the street like Ena Sharples cos she heard a broken window - Honestly that girl!

Got an email from the lovely Mark who has returned safely to Oz, and big up to Phil who has a new job working for Oldham Town council (I'm the only guy who has the Australian Young Town Planner of the year 2002 as a best mate - pity his prize was to go to Wartorn East Timor and not the Bahamas. But it can't be all coke and champagne can it?)

It's also Leahs birthday this weekend, which means only one thing (well two including her Birthday) - It's exactly 1 YEAR since I came down for Leahs Birthday last year and Richards Return to the UK party and then never went home. I'll be one London year old this week. And Luckily I'm still full of my Northern Charm. None of this pushing and shoving and leaving old grannies to struggle with their shopping for me, Nosireee. (besides my mother would be most unimpressed!)

Mx

Just A Quickie...

2004-09-06T17:19:00.000+01:00

Monday is here again. Went on a lovely date last night with a gorgeous French Guy (more on that if and when).

Also went to action on Saturday. Bit Muscle Mary Steriod Brigade, but generally an up for it crowd. Then on to Twist@Fire, god knows what I looked like stumbling onto the Jubilee line home at 9am in a completely twisted state - oops!

Found a great one of those 'Which...' Are you Quizes - a Clue one! Huzzah

I'm not pessimistic, but Mrs (not Miss) White is my fave character from the film!

More Later :)

Mx

Manchester Pride 2004 - Rock on!

2004-09-03T10:12:00.000+01:00

Hey-ya!

Well It's now Thursday and I feel sufficiently recovered to tell the tales of Manchester. So read on for the highs and lows, the tears and tantrums, oh and of course the Alcohol...

Glinda and I arrived on Friday afternoon by High Speed (Hmm) electric train to Manchester Piccadilly, although it was that brimming with Queens it should have been called Piccawilly (ho ho ho). Ma and Chris then picked us up, we threw madam out at her hotel (The Midland - Very Porsh) and we proceeded back to base at Ma's new house (which is a tres lovely townhouse).

Back into town after we were ready where we descended on Phils new plush City Centre pad, then out for a 'few' pre big weekend drinks. Well It all went pearshaped poste Haste to say the least. After much Spirit/Essential/Cruz I arrived home at 6am Saturday and crashed out.

Saturday Manchester was graced by the arrival of HRH Sue Ellen, Empress of the kingdom of Trash. So we minced out into town all high heels and no knickers, with no plan apart from drinking and going for an all we could eat Chinese. Saw Stevey S (Officially my favorite ex), Sue and me missed FIERCE GIRL on the main stage, despite queueing for ages and being their number one fans so we were gutted (lying security guards!). And eventually settled on...

Poptastic.

For anyone that doesn't know, Pop is one of my fave places. One room cheese, one room indie, and always cheap drinks. Well for the night they had taken over a huge carpark underneath Piccadilly Station, there was a school disco theme, and also a bouncy castle. We all ended up muchos drunk, dancing away to our fave Skool Disko songs.

Later in the night, disaster struck! my FAVE EVER T-shirt fell out of my back pocket when I was dancing. Now I'm not materialistic, but if I was, it'd be over this top. If anyone has one the same that they don't want I'd do anything for one back (and I mean anything). The last known moments of it's existence (before I took it off and it fell out of my pocket or got nicked) are shown below:

Nice ears huh?

Now maybe the drink and drugs helped. But i was in Floods of tears after this and was unconsolable, this is where Phil comes in. My rock and tower - he walked topless in solidarity with me at 4am through Canal Street (where we got offered a 4sum - how rude). We then went back to his and sat on the window ledge drinking and trying to lure men in like Sirens. Unfortunately all we got was some Homophobic abuse from some twat, that'll teach us. Although we did shout back at the man.

Sunday - Well we spent most of the day recovering to be honest. Though we did feel well enough to go out for a sociable few in the afternoon to the lovely Prague V to meet up with Vicki (disgusted by her unglam yellow armband) and Glinda and Steve and co, which was wicked apart from the gay line dancing record going on outside.

In the evening we were boozing even more, (In between Sue and Ma laughing/consoling/laughing over my Tee Shirt story - gits!). I had a moment of epiphany in the Hollywood Showbar (strange place for it huh?) when i was surrounded by all those I loved and realised just how LUCKY I am to have the best people all around me. (I knew it anyway, but that one moment hammered it home - cue more tears). The moral of this story is don't get drunk and enter a strip contest - Pics to follow. I also finally met my friend Nik from who I've been chatting to for ages on T'Internet and walked into randomly (he lives on the rock nowadays)...

Bank Holiday Monday should have been a day of rest and going home - however the fact that we were still drunk from the night before and 'Bedknobs and Broomsticks' was on helped us to remain focused and made me end up asking my boss for an extra day off work. So more booze in Spirit, A random phone call to Malta and then on to Essential. With Pip (Phil, now I'm promoted to his best mate) and Mark, another Aussie of Phils who scarily looks, acts and tarts it about like me. Phil was terrified when we started uttering the same sayings. There were many tears that night between me and a nameless person. All i really remember is dancing to Rachel Stevens, telling some queen (who was bitching about me) that he must have pulled his brain out by accident last time he plucked his eyebrows and suddenly was in the New Union and I was dancing to 'Dead Ringer for love' at 3am while trying to avoid the attentions of one of the managers there - Oops.

Tuesday definitely was a day of rest, so tearfully I bid goodbye to Phil, Steve, Ma and Co. With an agreement to hook up with Mark on Wednesday for a night out in London. And it was back to London to domestic life with Glinda to share tales of random sex and drugs.

Big Hugs and Snogs to everyone that made my weekend perfect. You guys are all the best friends a fella could ever have.

Love Mx

(photos to follow when i get them e-mailed to me)

Big up

2004-08-26T11:09:00.000+01:00

Just a quickie. Two of my dear friends have got new jobs.

Vicki is turning her back on the cut throat world of Media and going all hollistic on us.

Bretton has been promoted and is Jetting off for a life in New York.

Am so pleased for both of them, not least of all cos I'll be getting free massages and have a summer pad in NYC - Hee Hee. But seriously I am well chuffed to see my friends doing so well.

Seen a pair of Puma Classics I sooooo want, baby blue ones. I might have to treat myself. Fierce Girl have been declared by S'wellen as the hot new things. So at least I'm buying the right fashions.

Did I mention it was one day til manchester? There may be no posts til I've recovered next week...

Mx

Oh Mrs Peacock? The kingdom of heaven is at Hand...

2004-08-25T11:24:00.000+01:00

Well I can't believe it's Wednesday and I haven't posted yet. So after being chastised by several mates here I am, It's not my fault I've had no muse this week is it?

Weekend was quite nice, Friday chilled with a couple of bottles of wine. Saturday met up with S'wellen in the Edge for a birthday do (no one I knew, but I tagged along). Ended up absolutely HAMMERED in Escape dancing topless. Oops. Oh and the highlight was Sue was crawling on the floor knocking all an sundry over looking for the thing she dropped. Hmm wonder what that was madam? Then back to mine where we awakened Glinda, Sue had a bootie call and I drank til 7am.

Sunday was a day of rest: well resting on the sofa eating a fry up (Mark used EVERY pan in the kitchen) and drinking lots of wine while watching lots of:

ROCK PROFILE

Now you must have seen this, basically Matt Lucas and David Walliams drag up as pop and rock stars and get interviewed by Jamie Theakston. The programme is so funny it's untrue and has me in stitches (On asking Shirley Bassey while she lives in Monte Carlo Jamie gets the reply: "Well I saw this darling film darling called 'Herbie goes to Monte Carlo' and I thought 'Shirley goes to Monte Carlo. She must, she must". Shirley also doesn't like any Bond songs that aren't sung to the same tune as Goldfinger - "Tina you know I love you, I adore you but you don't have the range!" (I think we're all headed for the Old Divas home one day, though I think Bretton will be first!)

Another notable one is Bobby Gee and Mike Nolan from Bucks Fizz ('The Fizz' as they like to be called). Being really bitter about poor old Jay Aston and plotting their comeback to the Top Spot, while accusing ABBA of stealing their Ideas. To be honest their official website does come across as they sound on the rock profile - hahahahaha. Although I have started singing 'My Camera Never Lies' everywhere, this can't be a good thing surely? Also on Sunday we watched...

CLUE

For the uninitiated (god help you). Clue is one of the most underrated films of all time and has legions of fans. Basically it's a movie of Cluedo (clue in the US, it would be wouldn't it!). That has a pretty stellar cast (Tim Currie, Madeline Khan, Christopher Lloyd, Lesley Ann Warren to name but a few).

The plot is as you expect, who killed Mr Boddy, Where, and with what. But it's such high camp it's untrue. There are so many twists (Mrs Peacock was a man?), surprises (was that what we ate?), three different endings (that's how it could have happened...), double meanings (oh how would you know, when were you in that mens room?), confusion (No that's 1+2+1+1) and throwaway lines (Col Mustard:"How many Husbands have you had?". Mrs White:"Mine or other womens?" that it just becomes a played for laughs great film. Please go and watch it now if you haven't already.

Other exciting developments in popular culture this week are:

1) On Most Haunted last night the trigger object moved by itself in this really scary weird way. I was hiding behing the sofa.

2) Vicki and I have declared the new girls aloud song 'Love Machine' this years best anthem since 'The Show'

3) Me and Glinda getting HAMMERED on a fiver on Monday in Comptons and Bar Code, and ending up having an umbrella fight in Soho Square where half my finger got ripped off - EVIL COW!

4) Nadia from BB is appearing at Manchester Mardi Gras, not my cuppa but BB fans might care. Apparently there's also some sort of militant lesbian march aginst 'The permissive nature of pride' - Boring! Well I guess they need something to keep their boot soles well worn.

Only two days til manchester!!!!!!

Wild Boys!

2004-08-20T15:40:00.000+01:00

Well actually it should say Rude Boyz! But I was in the mood for a Duran Duran reference.

Friday is finally here and I'm a bit poste. Went to fire in Vauxhall last night for Rude Boyz (basically it's a night for lads who like hackett tops, trackie bottoms etc). Had a great time. Much of which is either unprintable or would land me in jail (alledgedly). It's a really good horny night with top tunes and top totty. Although the ametuer scally strip thing was a bit like Blind Date with Burberry...

So whats up this weekend? Well I think S'wellen's dragging me into town for a beer tomorrow *hic*. And that's about as far as my plans go.

7 days from now I'll be in Manchester - LA LA LA

Great weekend Y'all!

Mike x

Oh Manchester My Lionheart...

2004-08-18T11:29:00.000+01:00

I'm soooooo excited cos It's a week and two days til I'll be up in my spiritual home for the weekend (No not Grimsby). MANCHESTER!

Yes that city of cities. Home to the Stone Roses, the Early Nineties club scene, Queer as Folk, Coronation Street (best soap ever!), and of course Bridget Madeline Aherne. Who? I hear you ask. Well Old Ma Aherne is one of my very very closest friends, we've seen each other through thick and thin, had huge screaming rows in the street that always end when one of us cracks up after not talking for about 15 minutes, worshipped cheap wine together, lived, laughed (usually at each others questionable shags) and cried with each other since UNI and have a bond that can never be broken.

Ok enough with the gushy stuff, next Friday Manchester Mardi Gras starts, and I'm tying it in with a visit to Ma. she's probably worried cos she hasn't seen me since Feb that I'm not eating properly or something. Am also so looking forward to seeing Chris 'Mophead' Marshall (B's other half and as cunning as me on the old 'Slack around in life but still fall on your feet' Stakes). And Young Philip Leijiten (OZ Phil). Young Philip left London town for the bright lights of Manchester were he was found wandering by Ma and taken under her wing. From what I gather he's survived his first experience of her PMT, so whoring round Canal Street every night should be Knats Piss.

Okay for those not in the know, hear are the top 10 reasons you should revere Manchester as a city among cities;

1) It's the UKs second city - That's pretty damn good!

2) It's only 40 mins from Huddersfield, and less than an hour from Leeds, which made my university years so much more fun than just having Wakefield nearby

3) It has some of the most stunning industrial age architecture in the country. Take a look at some of the Uni buildings to see what I mean, and the G-Mex (Old train station)

4)Madchester - Need I say more?

5)The Hacienda and the whole of rave culture exploded out of this city and refused to die. Pity they're building flats there now to sell to the same people that used to club there.

6)Man Utd - Ok I'm not a football fan, but they did rule the roost throughout the nineties to become the most famous football team in the world! Plus It gave us a lot to ogle at!

7)Canal Street - It's like Soho, only the people are friendly and don't try and screw each other over. The night of soooo many drunken staggerings, mashed up clubbings, karaoke at Churchills, convincing bouncers we are actually a 'gay majority group' and taking over piano bars wherever we can find them.

8) The New Union - Ok it's part of canal street but It ROCKS. Where else in the country can you stand with a can of red stripe wearing sports kit and actually get the attention of the fit guys? Also home to random Irish drunks, people with dogs, and strippers that strip to 'Rock me Amadeus'.

9) Metrolink - It's a tram, but it's so much more! Takes you all the way to the Lowry and Salford quays. And it has crazy named stations like 'Pomona' and 'Shudehill'.

10) Last but by no means least - The Mancunian Way. To some it's just a road. But to the ones that built it it's a symbol of toil and achievement. Pretty much sums Manchester up.

I just want to be pop...ular

2004-08-16T12:34:00.000+01:00

Happy monday everyone - Todays title is a Darren Hayes reference. More on that later!

Am thankfully and miraculously feeling fresh as a daisy dispite my packed weekend:

Friday - Met Sue Ellen for drinks after work with all his media luvvie friends, then we went to the ever gorgeous Lynettes for a dinner party (Read:got drunk as skunks, totally mashed up, and danced on the window ledge for the amusement of Brixton bus station, followed by us collapsing and Glinda humping the sofa in her sleep.) We also saw some junkies in Brixton shooting up - my first addicts! But the evening was fantastic and the lady deserves a gold medal in hostessing.

Saturday - Woke up bloody early due to the beast that is the Brixton clock. Couldn't move until we'd had at least two cups of tea (which we sent Glinda off to do, best to keep her in her place) and a generous helping of Tarte au Citron (Home baked by Sue-Ellen of course. I always knew she'd use her GCSE Home economics one day). Then went home and monged in front of UK Golds Bill weekend for a bit, it was much better when it was half an hour long.
This was deftly followed by a jaunt into town to meet my mates Ian, Derv and Warren and go drinking (which we did with gusto). Ended up in Bar Code Via Shinky Shonky and then back at Dervs house for a chill. Saturday then blurred into...

Sunday - We got home from being out at 9:30 am, Glinda appeared around the same time with three clicks of her Ruby Slippers - I got the bus. Would have gone to bed but we decided carrying on drinking was a better idea (I was put in my place by Glindas command of "get me a vodka bitch!"). Much vodka, wine, CD burning, Dominos pizza, CSI double bill, Most Haunted, Darren Hayes and a nice massage later (the last two bits thanks to the talented man that is Adam - sexy Cock-er-ney that he is. Well when I say thanks I mean more for the massage than orgasming every time Mr Hayes Appeared on TV. And the song's now stuck in my head) and we went to bed about 12, after I'd had to catch the big spider and throw it out cos Mark was shrieking like a girl.

Mum, was back from holiday as well this weekend, so It was good to speak to her after a week. I am a complete Mummys boy after all.

Cloggy the Ghost

I mentioned Most Haunted earlier, but decided It needs it's own paragraph. For those not in the know, It's a programme where a team from Living TV (lead by Yvette "Shit scared at the drop of a hat" Fielding, Derrek "The Bouffant" Accorah, and Jason "Co-Ordinated knitwear and immaculate eyebrows in the face of danger" Karl), spend 24 hours in a haunted locale, looking for ghosts, running round in the dark and generally getting very scared.

The one last night had them at Blackpool Pleasure Beach looking for a ghost named 'Cloggy' (I mean what name is that to scare people with?), and to be honest was a bit tosh as they scared themselves more than anything else. However it does have some genuine scary moments as well as some hilarious ones. Top 5 viewing in my book!

Off now for luncheon and to try and get (allegedly) pop...ular Darren Hayes out of my head...

Mike xxx

Got any K?

2004-08-13T10:52:00.000+01:00

No that wasn't a request, but we did see the closest thing to a Gay Chav celebrity last night, and the only people to use this postings title as a chat up line (according to one of their many interviews in the Gay Rags): The ever Hacketted 'Fierce Girl'. They were 'avin it large' (I believe thats the term the kids are using nowadays) in G-A-Y bar, where myself and my female companion, Lady Victoria of Tameside, were quoffing todays ale at yesterdays prices while wondering exactly what the guy in the orange dungarees with the limp was on (maybe it was day release), and what smell the guy next to us was trying to mask by spraying CK1 every 30 seconds.

The fierce girl collective, if you've never heard of them. Are a couple of lads who trade on their council chic and mash it with being gayers - and are planning to assault the charts with their first single 'Double Drop' on the 16th (which has some very good remixes!). They're both quite shaggable actually, but they're a bit like Eminem in that you can't tell whether their being ironic or serious in their hype. However I'm generally fabourable to them, lucky for me I had my 3/4 length Adidas bottoms on so i felt fierce as well. Here's a link to find out more: Http://www.redflagrecords.com/fiercegirl.html

Other highlights of the night included Vicki and myself trying to recreate the All Saints 'Pure Sures' video on her cameraphone, and our discussion as to whether anyone has actually seen 'Desperately Seeking Susan' all the way through. We suspect that like us, most people watch it on BBC2 when they're in on a Saturday and fall asleep roughly 20-30 minutes into it. If anyone can disprove this theory please drop me a line as the University of Plaistow are doing a study...

Mike x

Beware the Ides of Text Messaging

2004-08-12T15:25:00.000+01:00

What a b***ard! - Some blooming company that got my number from somewhere has been charging me £1.50 to receive text messages (I was getting some that said *unable to display picture. But i assumed they were from someone with a picture phone, IE one of my mates). So I'm now £10 down on my phone credit :(

GITS...

Anyway the nice lady at Orange gave me their contact details and I rang and gave them what for and it should noe be ceased forthwith. Moral of the day is don't give your number to strange people (unless he's cute of course). You'd think I'd know that in my job by now...

Egads!

Mike x

What am I wearing?

2004-08-11T11:26:00.000+01:00

Saw The Stepford Wives last night with Mark - Absolutely fantastic!

Now I know there are a purist group who like the original, but that was a thriller, and while this follows roughly the same storyline. It's a high camp comedy romp. And it had us in stitches. I don't know why I've never seen Bette Middler (Bobbi) and Nicole Kidman (Joanna) working together before, but they had great chemistry as the good guys, joined by Roger Bart as their hilarious homo mate (also called Roger). They set about to solve the mystery of why the wives of stepford are so perfect. And the three of them get so many comedy lines it's untrue

Examples are...

Joanna Eberhard: But, she had sparks coming out of her ears!
Roger Bannister: That's the first sign.
Joanna Eberhard: Of what?
Roger Bannister: Cheap jewelery.

And...

Joanna Eberhart: How do I look?
Bobbi Markowitz: Can I be perfectly honest?
Joanna Eberhart: Mm-hmmm.
Bobbi Markowitz: You kind of look like Betty Crocker.
Joanna Eberhart: I know.
Roger Bannister: At Betty Ford

Or

Roger Bannister:What am I wearing? (On being 'de-stepfordised' and realising he's dressed as a republican candidate and has thrown all his Gucci away)

Run! Go see now if you already haven't. And the original is worth a dusting down. I'm sure Channel 5 will be showing it soon (probably with the DIRE sequel. The Stepford Husbands, and whatever the third one was. If anyone knows what it was I'll give them an apple)

Dynasty on a Budget?

Speaking of Channel 5. As of next month they're repeating Sunset Beach. Yes that show that was so bad it rocked will be back on our screens (It also got me through sixth form and uni).

Marvel at a day lasting a week, try and work out who the killer is, watch the turkey baster incident with your breath held (I'm not kidding), lust after Cole, laugh at the ugly Spelling kid with the huge forehead rapping, and find out why Annie is the best soap baddie since Alexis removed her gloves and those Gucci glasses to destroy Blakes defense in Dynasty...

Hey and the weather is back to hot! Woo Hoo!

Mike x

Wave that Wand Girl!

2004-08-10T12:34:00.000+01:00

Just a quick hi to my flatmate Mark (the Lovely Glinda). Who I said I'd give a mention to today. Bless him he's finally got a decent tan without the use of rubber gloves or gravy block. And he looks darn sexy for it as well.

Well the weather is having an identity crisis as well, rain, heat, rain, heat, rain?! Oh well at least it's not cold.

Got my best mate Mark "Sue-Ellen" Holding round tonight for tea and a gossip. (and to watch Clue - quite possibly the funniest film of the 80s - well intentionally funny, Grease 2 was funny for all the wrong reasons). This evening is bound to deteriorate due to our penchant for bargain bin wine at rocket fuel strength. Well at least we don't pretend we have any class I guess...

Mike x

First Posting

2004-08-09T10:30:00.000+01:00

Well I finally got round to getting myself a blogspot. It'll be handy for me as much as anyone to know what I've been upto.

What a great weekend.

Went to Balans on friday for a delicious slap up meal topped off with irish coffee and brandy. Then back to bed earlyish for the next days festivites...

Brighton Pride on saturday was the most fabulous day I've had for a long time. The day started with a cooked brekkie at Dan and Stu's fabby new pad. Followed by a very nice train complete with the nice people at South Central (trains, not Dukes) decking out 'Happy Pride' carriages.

Got to the park and generally had a great day. Got nicely out of it and thought we were in Greece for half an hour or so. Which was nice. (although not that out of it to know that the lesbian couple with the baby that were taking MDMA while in charge of said baby was seriously WRONG!)

Then more merriment and dancing (we were taking bets on how many times we would hear Lolas theme, which incidentally as any gayer will know we've had in clubs for about a year and are so past.) Before we shot off for the train back to Londinium. Deftly followed (well I say deftly. The train home took about two hours and stopped at every Lamp post, plus Dan was having a personal nirvana in trying to find a cashpoint near Victoria) by a couple of cheeky ones in Barcode and then onto XXL. Which was a good laugh.

More drinks and Chilling back at Dan and Stu's flat followed by three hours sleep meant yesterday was pretty much a write off. Was back home monging on the sofa and asleep by nine last night - what a good boy am I...

More wry comments and comedy when I think of some (hey it's Monday!)

Mike x