northern monkey living down south

Crying at the Discotheque. Again

2005-12-19T09:34:00.000Z

Well It's almost christmas. I haven't actually done any shopping yet or even thought about it. Oops, (sorry for lack of postings - I have been promoted at work so all my 'surf random sites and blog' time is being used by actual work (I know, how quaint)). Yes me promoted. I'm now senior online marketing guy. Woo-Hoo

Anyway the reason I'm writing is that I just found out that Alcazar have split up :(

Phil, Sue Ellen and I are obviously in mourning and the flags above London, Madrid and Sydney town hall are at half mast (I think to be honest this is all the excuse Sue needs to drag up as one of those Spanish Peasant Grannies with a donkey and lots of Oranges and wail her way round the town square). At least this paves the way for a multitude of Alcazar tribute bands...

How To Get Ahead in Advertising...

2005-11-18T09:07:00.000Z

Advertising/Marketing - it's all the same thing. Could also be filed under 'how to fill your bar up'. I am of course talking about Madonna at G-A-Y this Saturday and the amazing lengths you have to go to to get tickets (before I start sounding like I'm bitter - couldn't be arsed with the crush).

1) Between last Friday and tonight find Jeremy Joseph in the G-A-Y bar/Club, convince him that you are/let him recognise you as a G-A-Y regular and then you get a voucher

2)Go queue tomorrrow from 10am at the G-A-Y bar and join either line 'a' or line 'b' and-

if you are in line a) Queue with your little ticket and you may get a voucher

if you are in line b) For all the people without a little ticket, you will get any wristbands that are left after said queue 'a' have had theirs.

All in all a good idea of making sure that the Madonna night at G-A-Y is populated by g-a-y regulars and not just every rancid Queen and/or Madonna fan muscles in no?...

However several of my friends have been in the G-A-Y bar this week and asked for vouchers, the response they always get from Mr Joseph?

'Ho Ho Ho. I'm not giving vouchers out tonight' - as i said, good way to make your bar full! I'm sure the club has been similarly packed all week. Having said that I know some people that have got wristbands, mainly 18(ish) year old twinks. Maybe there's some correlation. Who knows?

Anyway I hope my mates that want tickets get them, I know they are all going to Camp Attack tonight. I just hope that, being regulars, they are not left in queue b tomorrow...

Mx

Phil

2005-11-07T12:44:00.000Z

He deserves a whole blog to himself really, however for the meantime he'll have to be content with sharing the Silk Flower and Tea light shrine to Diana in my bedroom.

He just sent me the links to his leaving party photographs. And in fact it's worth noting that he's generally a very good photographer!

http://www.phillipj.smugmug.com/

He looks a bit Cell Block H on the main pic though...

Mike x

Scene Out

2005-11-07T12:39:00.000Z

I didn't mention this last week but the lovely man that runs www.scene-out.com has seen my writings on here and various websites and asked me to become a regular reviewer for his site and the weekly 'Mirrorballs' email that they send out. I of course am chuffed and tackled my first assignment on Saturday at Wig-Out. You can look at the results below!

http://scene-out.com/party/showproduct.php?product=74

That is all (though Wig-Out is a f***ing cracking club!)

Mike :)

"He looks A bit like the Dali Lama..."

2005-11-03T15:04:00.000Z

No seriously this was a quote last night. Dale thought that he'd found Nirvana in Barcode, then he realised it was just a twat with a big scarf.

We honestly went out for one drink last night, I was supposed to meet up with the lovely Vicki for a beer and a catch up, then the news came that Leah (who's birthday I think should be a Bank Holiday) was coming, finally Dale announced his attentions to attend. So as you can imagine it was to be a messy night.

We consumed at least a crate full of San Miguel between us, danced around to Sam Fox, Westlife, Spice Girls, Girls Aloud et al. And we severally denounced Kelly Clarkson, Daniel Porkingfield and Jessica Simpson's appalling cover of 'Boots' (Nancy Sinatra must be spinning in her, umm, boots). Vicki of course also befriended the gays she liked and told the ones she didn't to 'move along', dazzling all with her gypsy dancing and bewitching stealing of ciggies "yes it's a pain trying to give up in't it love!".

Suddenly it was ten o'clock, we'd been harassed by just off the boat Aussies (who of course Dale wasn't interested in, well not at ten pm, ask him again about midnight and he changes his tune), Some sort of Rocky Alike had freaked us out, and the girls felt it was time to leave (to my knowledge Vicki left with all her possessions and hasn't got one bruise! Cor blimey that's a rarity!).

Then The boy Sparky and myself trawled off to Barcode, where we saw said Dali Lama, and commented that the world was an ugly place on Wednesday evenings. The world also has strange women 'MCing' in the code on Wednesdays, it was quite good I must admit despite the ugly patrol (having said that they might have thought the same about me).

Anyway to cut a long story short (too late), the night wasn't good for getting men. However we did have a good bop and then I toddled off home. Where Dale went remains a mystery, but he assures me that he has his Mojo back, thanks to our just off the boat friend

Mx

Trade: 15th Birthday Special!!!

2005-11-01T14:43:00.000Z

First of all - WOW!!!

The way I was going on a few of my friends were saying 'ooh you know when you big these things up to yourself they're never as good as you expect', how wrong they were...
Got there fresh from the delights of XXL at around 5:15am Sunday (BST), the queueing system worked fantastically, the doorstaff were their usual friendly but firm selves, the people were of course as friendly as ever...

Then of course there was the music. I didn't leave the lite lounge for about 4 hours I got so carried away before I realised that there was the main room I was missing out on. In between catching up with people I haven't seen for ages (including a hilarious 'big business' moment with Martin's double),and harassing the fruit tray man for one more Banana I sampled the delights of the main room - It was Blinding sets all round and A very happy monkey I am indeed.
I'd like to buy Gonzalo a cup of tea/Pint for giving me the most fun I had with my trousers on all day.
My 15th Birthday CD is proudly stuck to my wall! Muchos Gracias to the trade collective, they're like the Borg collective only with better disco lights and nicer queens. I Can't wait til the next special...

He's leaving on A Jet Plane...

2005-10-21T10:26:00.000+01:00

Actually he's gone. Who would have ever thought that Phil's time here would be at an end, and he'd be flying back home to Tohwoonga or Wahroonga or wherever the hell he's from (that's Sydney to the uneducated poms among us).

After a whirlwind leaving party (leaving week actually - pics included), it was with a heavy heart we trudged to the airport on Wednesday, actually it wasn't that bad. I think we both know that true friendships last. Plus I'm surrounded by all my other wonderful friends here like Rach, sparky and others too numerous to mention. We were both quite tearful when he went but the cute man from Virgin asked me if I was alright (of course I milked this), also my last sight of Phil was him bumbling into a wall which is the epitome of him!

Racheal Voguing to attract men (top) Me and the Pipster (below)

So no more (for a while at least) £1.60 drinks at G-A-Y bar/Chatting up old queens for drinks in Barcode/Girls Aloud (Jump!)/
Belinda Carlisle (almost)/Alcazar/Phixx/Darren Hayes fun with me old mucker Phil. Though he did give me a dowry of all his old shit he didn't want (if anyone wants a bathmat, I have two. I have to ask why Phil bought two bath mats but the answer mystifies me!)

I know everyone else will miss him as much as me, looking forward now to Sydney 2006!

Racheal likes to Vogue, she finds it attracts

strange men. Not all of them Gay!

TRADE

2005-10-20T11:19:00.000+01:00

My god, I don't know why I haven't posted this, TRADE is back on for a 15th birthday special. Do you know what trade is? Possibly the best club i have EVER been to in my life. Down at Turnmills in farringdon. You can look at the website here

Taking young Mr Wileman as he has never been, I'm so excited. Full stop, the end.

Don't want no more...

2005-09-30T12:36:00.000+01:00

Of the crying game. Fab Film, Fab song. Even better when sung by Her Kylieness in the 2002 Fever concert!

LOVE KYLIE

Don't worry I'm on one of my 'watch the concert ten times and annoy your mates' moods

Mike :) x

Up the Mariners!

2005-09-21T10:17:00.000+01:00

Now normally I'm not want to take an interest in football (more of a Rugby or Cricket boy). However if it involves my home team then I always perk up. Especially as we knocked Spurs out of the cup last night.

If you read any of the reports, Martin Jol is sounding very pissed off and bitter about the whole thing (well you would). But just to say well done lads!!!

Staight Rant over. Bring on the next round!

On a sporting note, did any of my Aussie readers see the ashes result?

POP

2005-09-06T11:11:00.000+01:00

I have become addicted to the popjustice forums, (Sparky if you read this SIGN UP) which is in turn a spin off from popjustice (their last ten days of pop news is highly hilarious).

From spending my days and evenings chatting about pop past and present I found this hilarious link, which anyone that's ever been to a) essential in manchester, b) Ku Bar/Heaven in london or c) any provincial gay bar will find very amusing.

On a more serious note, Aaron got robbed at gunpoint last week. Reminding me how scary parts of London can be, luckily the poor lamb is over it (I think) and not too worried. It's a bugger that you can't walk the streets safely in your own neighbourhood isn't it? Such are the realities of life I suppose.

Had a fab weekend, went to G-A-Y Saturday night for a bouncy dance, lots of lager and Jeremy Joseph trying to convince us the the Pussycat Dolls are going to be as big as the Spice Girls - whatever Jezza, you said the same thing about Vanilla (probably). I'll also never doubt Dales drop kick ability ever again. (Incidentally we did a very good dance routine to 'Time of my life' from dirty dancing. What should have been a recipe for a trip to A&E wowed the crowds with our flair and panache!).

I also just bought a washing machine. (well Aaron did under instruction). How mundane and Zzzz hey?...

Mx

It's a monkey...

2005-08-31T10:45:00.000+01:00

The latest craze at work is for everyone to do their own South Park character (see attached link and you can do one too!)

This is me. Apparently...

Big Gay Out

2005-08-24T15:13:00.000+01:00

Ok Ok, I did it again. Over a month since an update. Ouch. I was reminded the other day by Dale that I hadn't updated for ages. So now again I have a months worth of gossip. Where do I start?

Maybe at Big Gay Out? Fantastic day out, and surrounded by a lot of lovely people like Phil (who proved to be the shiftiest person at passing pills around ever) and Aaron (Inceidentally him and Hone had a mini fling in the interim of my blog postings). We were also surrounded by loads of lovely Aussies and Canadians. While I kept the British end up. Most notable thing of the day was the toilets that played the Going for Gold, Count Duckula and Trapdoor theme tunes. Well maybe most notable after Girls Aloud, or Goldfrapp, or The way the Dance tent stunk of BO, or maybe the mad woman who got hoisted off the stage by her various skin piercings while singing classical songs. Ouch.

Anyway we got generally drunk, mashed up/down and then went to the 12 pins pub next door. Where we promptly decided to go back to Phils to carry on drinking, The Boy Dale showed up and we were pretty pissed til about 5am when we turned in.

Of course never ones to waste an ounce of a weekend, Pip and Me went straight to g-a-y bar on Sunday to top up. Aussie Mike joined us as well (he's a very committed individual, ask anyone!). As usual on Sunday in there the dynamic changed from 1pm when we were sat talking and laughing at the post clubbing queens dancing like freaks. To 10pm BEING the people dancing like freaks. Oh dear, but what can you do? Especially when they play so much cheese!!!

I'll have to post other events over the last month on a seperate post, just so it looks like my blog is keeping up to date.

Mx

"My Boy is Dead..."

2005-07-18T12:17:00.000+01:00

I'm reminded that I have yet to reccomend the fabulous www.angryalien.com to you all to go look at. The 30 second bunny theatre is guaranteed to have you in stitches (unless you're not impressed by stupid things, like Mr Edwards isn't!)

The title is a line from Jaws, which is one of the films on there!!!

Who's Who at 56 Lambert Road? (plus randoms)

2005-07-14T16:21:00.000+01:00

Here is a picture of my lovely flatmate Karen (in the yellow). Pictured here with a friend of hers, Andrea. This was taken at about 8am one Saturday a while back when we had been drinking since about midday the day before. She doesn't scrub up too bad, though they were both taking the piss out of my admittedly bad tie collection. Oops.
Here's the picture of Steve and I from Brighton as promised yesterday . (Sorry this was supposed to be at the top but it all seems to be working backwards - It's not my fault the blog uploads everything in a strange way! (bad workman blaming his tools anyone?)).

This is the deliciously cute Aaron who we also live with (in the strange red hat). Aaron is 24, single and a general all round good time gal. Pictured with him is his good friend Colin. Who is a very sweet guy. He also likes Star Trek, which guarantees people a place in my good books.

Here is the apple of our household's eye. The ever lovely/hungry/not yet pregnant precious. She is very precious as well, and likes nothing more than to pretend to be hard done to while mewling for food (despite the fact that the last person to leave the house has probably fed her as well). I will add more friends when I have time to resize the photos. Just thought A snapshot of our house (and Steve) might be nice. Again apologies it's not in very good order.

And I love A Cabaret...

2005-07-13T17:17:00.000+01:00

Well obviously but I was referring to Berlin in the title. Where I was at the weekend. It's such a beautiful city - there are palaces and buildings from the various countries that Berlin has been at the center of (Holy Roman Empire, Prussia, Wiemar and Germany) and I'll upload pics as soon as I can. However in the meantime let me just say that if you are planning a city break go there as it's so gorgeous. As Steve just said to me, you could spend weeks there and not get bored.

Speaking of Steve...

Y'all remember the Canadian I met in Brighton? Well that's him, I just spoke to him on the phone and it turned my Stomach into a mass of butterflies. All good though and he is GORGEOUS. We're mailing and chatting and hoping we can meet up very soon. Yet another picture I need to post when I have time to resize it is a lovely one of me and him from Brighton.

Went to see Jenny and Sapna in hospital today, (the girls from work that were on the bombed bus). Thank god they are on the mend and quite Lucid. Jenny in particular is a legend. She is her usual chirpy self and not letting anything like terrorists get to her. As I told her "you go girl"

Kisses

Mike :)

Stronger

2005-07-08T17:05:00.000+01:00

That's all I can say about the people of London today, stronger than anyone (especially the terrorists) suspected. I can't get my head round yesterday, especially as two girls from work were on the bus when it blew. Luckily they are alive, and their injuries aren't too bad (comparably).

I won't go on about yesterday as I'm sure you have read it to death by now, but the city was all open this mroning, people were on the (emptier than usual) tubes and everyone came to work. Well most people, but the point is that everyone has stuck two fingers up to the terrorists and will carry on as normal.

I hope no one that reads this has lost a loved one.

It was so nice to get home last night, there were hugs all round and much drinking. We were all glad just to see the ones we love.

Anyway I'm off to Berlin for the weekend

TTFN

Love Mike

xxx

The London Bombings

2005-07-07T14:56:00.000+01:00

I'm just about to leave work and ok thankfully, but today has shaken me up so much. Luckily all my mates are ok, but a couple of people from work are in hospital

Will Post more when I'm not so shocked

Mike

xxx

"I have oral sex with complete strangers. You can't get much shallower than that..."

2005-07-05T14:36:00.000+01:00

I hope my mother doesn't read this, and no it's not the title of my autobiography. However it is one of my favourite quotes from one of my favourite characters on one of the best TV shows ever! This Life. And according to the BBC cult website they're making a one off reunion episode. (Think Dynasty the reunion, only in Southwark). Ruth I know you read this so you'll be as excited as me.

Foe the unititiated, this life followed the lives and loves (mainly involving sex, drink and drugs) of some 20 something law graduates who shared a house in London. All very normal you say? Except it was the most fab hour on the box for ages, it basically made light of all those things that actually do happen to you when you leave uni and start living uin the real world (sex, drink, no cash etc etc). I don't really make it sound very good, but anyone that's ever been in their twenties and housesharing will love it instantly. Watch as Ferdy shags the plumber in the bogs (sending daily mail readers across the land reaching for their lavender hankies in disgust), gasp in awe as Milly's sulky bath count rises, wonder whether Miles and Anna will stop sniping and ever get it together, wonder whether Egg will ever get a job. And so on and so forth...

As Warren would have said - Fantastic!

Gay Pride 2005

2005-07-04T12:20:00.000+01:00

Well the London one anyway, it was on Saturday. No you would be forgiven for thinking you had not heard anything about it as that's probably true. But it was there, overshadowed by Live8 (which was fab and I watched from the comfort of G-A-Y bar from behind a jug of pimms). The parade was good fun as usual, but the streets weren't as packed as normal. Maybe everyone was at Live8, maybe there's quite an apathetic feeling at the mo towards pride, maybe it's a bit of both. But it does sadden me if it's an apathy issue.

I for one am, well, proud of pride and what it represents. A lot of people have struggled hard to get us the rights we have as Gay men and Women. But also there is still a long way to go here and all over the world before Homophobic attitudes and discrimination are gone from society. People need to remember this and support it.

Political rant over, but I applaud the people that organise pride and take the time to march for something they believe in.

Gosh It's all very Waltons today :) Mx

Mountie Magic

2005-07-04T12:06:00.000+01:00

Well actually I didn't even see one, but Friday was Canada day (not Canadia day as some call it). I promised Aaron (incidentally who is our new housemate and the nicest guy on the planet - single fit guys can apply here if they want a date with him and I'll pass on messages :P ) that I'd go with him and expand my experience of all things Canadian - and how fab was it? Read on...

So we trotted along to Canada House and were greeted by a fudge brownie and a free pin badge (Aaron was hoping they were special brownies, alas no). There was more free lager (Moosehead) and Wine as you could shake a stick at. The reduced Shakespeare company were puting a show on, there was some random comedian who wasn't that funny, and lots of singing the national anthem (which moved me actually as they were all so into it, we need to do more for St Georges day!)

The Canadians are the nicest people you could ever hope to meet, I had never met any til recently and they all are so nice and friendly I'm a big fan of them.

There was a street party in covent garden afterwards, which mainly meant getting wet and Aaron asking policemen about their helmets. Oh and I got punched by the mysterious purple girl (we think she was a ghost).

Anyway I'll be Canada daying it next year as well. (It has less ulterior motive than my Australia day celebration)

:) Mike x

Brighton Rock(s)

2005-07-04T09:34:00.000+01:00

No really it does!!!

Well back from my week off and one of the highlights of the week was going to Brighton on wednesday for young Phils 29th birthday. You can see what a nice day we had in our wonderful self portrait here displayed.

Fab day, started off lazy in the cafe near Phils house, then got on the choo choo train to Brighton. Much meandering round shops then followed, with me explaining to Phil exactly why the marine pavilion was such a monstrosity (we used to have mad kings). After a mince round town we headed to the pier and laughed at the old grannies on deckchairs (well Phil laughed, I was just chortling).

On Brighton pier they have a Dr Who exhibition, being the big Sci-fi geek that I am, I wet my pants with fun as we went round. See a picture of me with the TARDIS here

Then we went for a fabulous Italian, and hit the bars (obviously taking time to not be outdone by the other queen whos birthday it was and ordering champagne!). Met a group of very nice guys (one of whom was the absolute man of my dreams but of course lives in Vancouver) and got generally drunk.

So as the sun set over Brighton and we got the last train home (with said man of my dreams in tow - you have to take happiness for as long as you can), We agreed how much we loved Brighton and will be going for pride again this year!!! That last line sounded like some cheesy line from a yank film, then again it's 4th of July so I guess I'm allowed a bit of cheese :)

Love will tear us apart...

2005-06-23T15:48:00.000+01:00

Well maybe not but I thought I'd better update before my week off next week. So what to report? Well single again (and happy for it to be honest), The hair has been shaved again (I got so mad with it) and London is currently 30c. PHEW. Luckily I'm spending the whole week sunbathing

Weekend before last was the lovely Glindas 30th, so several drinks were dunk along with a bbq, trips to XXL and the Tavern (that was fab beyond belief) and also wine in Soho Square. I think the poor lamb had a good time? We were quite messy but all good fun!!!

Tomorrow I'm off to the O2 Wireless festival in Hyde Park, mainly to see New Order who I've wanted to see since I was about ten years old. So I'm so chuffed, especially as every other bugger has gone to Glastonbury and left Karen and Me home alone (hats off to her for the state she was in last night - it involved blacking out in Leicester Square and taking several hours to get up Brixton Hill). Anyway we're having a day out tomorrow (as we've both been paid). Nice Brunch somewhere posh then on to Hyde Park. Better have the coke and champagne lifestyle while we can as it'll be back to wine and glue sniffing on Monday...

Having a week off next week means I'll be able to hopefully update this more regularly. Oh yeah I'm off to the Lincolnshire Fair on Sunday for a family do. Which I'm really looking forward to (though no doubt Grimsby itself will bore me to tears within ten minutes of arrival).

TTFN

Mike :) x

"You wanna buy any pegs Dave?"

2005-05-27T09:54:00.000+01:00

http://www.rulocal.co.uk/

Possibly the most exciting link of the year (apart from the Freddie Lindjeberg CK pics) - trailer and first five minutes of the League Of Gentlemen film. Rach and Myself just watched it and ended up nearly wetting ourselves with excitement. ARGH

Red Blooded Woman?

2005-05-05T15:17:00.000+01:00

Like you need to ask. She was bloody fantastic! Had a few beers in Muppet Street (chosen by Phil and not me or Sue Ellen), with those two and also the lovely Mark (Apparently I wasn't gushing enough about him yesterday. Well I can say that I think he's a very special guy and we have a very good time together, am looking forward to seeing him at the weekened even though the git is off to see Girls aloud tonight without me and Kylie (again) tomorrow. I was thinking of posting a picture but I only have one that looks like a Most Haunted deleted scene - seriously he is very tasty to look at though :) ). Then it was onwards and upwards for me and Sue Ellen to the Earls Court arena to gasp at the bar prices £9 for a large wine (which wasn't very large) and then to see Ms Minogue. I have attached the set list below.

Kylie was of course Fabulous - sang magnificently and had me in gasps/tears/leaps and bounds for the full two hours she was on stage. We had pretty decent seats (Earls Court is much smaller than the MEN, which surprised me). The highlight was either 'Red Blooded Woman' which was worth the ticket price for the male dancers in wet shorts, or the 'Je ne se pas pourquoi/confide in me' bit.

Here's the setlist -

SHOWGIRL
Better The Devil You Know
In Your Eyes
Giving You Up
On A Night Like This

SMILEY-KYLIE
Intro: Do You Dare
Shocked
What Do I Have to Do
Spinning Around

DENIAL
In Denial
Je Ne Sais Pas Pourquoi
Confide In Me

WHAT KYLIE WANTS, KYLIE GETS
Red Blooded Woman / Where The Wild Roses Grow
Slow
Please Stay

DREAMS
Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Come Into My World
Chocolate
I Believe In You
Dreams

KYLESQUE
Hand On Your Heart
The-Locomotion
I Should Be So Lucky
Your Disco Needs You

MINX IN SPACE
Put Yourself In My Place
Can't Get You Out Of My Head

Especially For You
Love At First Sight

So if you haven't been/bought tickets yet get yerself on Ebay! I did overall prefer the fever tour actually, but it's Kylie here so we're talking degrees of magnificance...

Got home after (cos I was knackered after fighting all the gays on the District line for a seat) and had a KFC and a glass of wine with Karen. Phil is back in London (and was snoring in my bed when I got in!) so I expect him and me will resume mischief as usual ASAP!!!

Mike :) xxx